10JAN2013
Although I have never
written a blog before, I am choosing my very first one to share with you how
the “gentle” art of Brazilian Jiu Jitsu has saved my life.
I began my jiu jitsu
path in early 2003, stumbled into it really. It was a very awkward and slow beginning as I was the only
small woman in the class for several years. I stuck with it, and I am lucky I
did.
I will be the first to
admit that when I started BJJ, I was not there for self-defense specifically; I
was there to learn an art. In 2005,
I faced one of the scariest moments of my life. Following too much alcohol consumption, “Mr. Boyfriend”
decided to try and force himself onto me.
We were dating at the time, however, I was sober, he was not and I said
NO. When I tried to leave his
apartment after deflecting, he went into a RAGE. I have, to this day, never seen such hate and malice in
anyone’s eyes. Struggling on our
feet, I was struck and thrown onto the floor (not a small man) where he of
course, sat on top of me. Too
quickly, he wrapped his too strong hands around my neck. Squeezing. It hurt so much, so fast….something switched inside me. I remember becoming so angry that I
screamed. In a split second I
remembered he was in mount position! But my vision was tunneling. With my last strength, I grabbed both
of his arms, and bridged as hard as I could. “Mr. Boyfriend” lost his balance, allowing me to escape his
hands and his attack.
2006, I faced another
attacker……”My Friend”. I had no
idea where we were going. We were
meeting up with everyone at the spot after work. I caught a ride with “My Friend”, happy to be done with
work. After chatting for a while,
work gossip, I noticed I didn’t recognize the neighborhood. I realized we had actually been driving
a while since I last recognized our route. Immediately I was on edge. “My Friend” had gotten very quite and intent, making it
worse. I asked “My Friend” where
we were going, and he pulled over onto a side street to park the car where it
was dark. I sat very still in my
seat, wanting to know why the sudden change, but I was already aware that this
was a bad situation. To my shock, “My
Friend” turns to me and (with that look in his eyes) starts yelling at me that
“I was supposed to be his and have his children..” getting louder, he tells me
that I cheated on him (we were not together) and that I was his. While he was yelling, he unbuckled his
seatbelt. I was praying he was
going to get out of the car.
Instead, he climbed over the center console, onto my lap! That’s when the panic started. Afraid to escalate the situation, I
stayed very quite and calm. I told
him that I didn’t know, and that I didn’t mean to hurt his feelings. (Trying to diffuse his building
anger.) Suddenly, with tears in
his eyes, he grabbed my throat. He
was screaming now that I was supposed to be his, and that I had betrayed
him. While he was yelling, I had
reached down and unbuckled my seatbelt, praying that I would stay conscious
long enough to get him off of me.
I was so afraid that I was going to die there and never see my family
again. Mentally fighting his
choking hands on my neck, I found the door handle. As I opened the door, I pushed him off of me and out of the
car as hard as I could, hoping I wouldn’t get tangled in my seatbelt. I had one chance to survive, and I knew
it right then. (This was the
INSTANT that I realized that although there were homes fairly close by……but no
one heard us or came to my rescue.
I realized that an attacker will find you ALONE, and you are your best
weapon.) We both fell out of the
car. I spun around as fast as I
could, he was on his knees. I
jumped onto his back and slipped in the “Rear-Naked Choke” incredibly tight,
and I squeezed as hard as I could…….he went out. I took his car and left him there.
"One in six girls will be subjected to sexual assault in their lifetime." – RAINN
I continue to train Brazilian Jiu Jitsu every single day, and share this art with as many men, women, and children as possible!
I am a SURVIVOR turned WARRIOR.
~Vanessa S. Wexler~
--jiu jistu forever--
--jiu jistu forever--
